It's Okay to Not Have Everything Figured Out After You Graduate College

Like many people when they were young, I had this specific vision for my future. I put this unattainable pressure on myself to follow everything in the “correct” order. I was definitely the annoying perfectionist who constantly felt like she needed to check everything off on a list. For the most part, my life pretty much followed everything on the list up until my college graduation. I mean I got all straight A’s in high school (minus that one B+ but we don’t talk about that), I went to a great college (shoutout UCLA), joined a lot of extracurriculars and graduated. But what came after that? When I was younger, I thought after college graduation I would have an amazing job, live in my own apartment and have my entire life figured out basically. Sounds so easy! However, after I realized that my vision wasn’t my reality, I started to panic. I got a job, but it wasn’t one I particularly saw myself getting and I still lived at home. Nothing was going according to my plan and I quickly started to believe that I was failing in life.

Flash forward to today –– it’s been over a year since I’ve graduated college and I still have that same job and I still live at home. My life isn’t figured out in the slightest. Honestly, I have no idea what I’m doing or what I want. I often still compare myself to people I see online who seem like everything in their life is going well and they have this “amazing” job. However, after I listened to someone whom I really admire tell me that no one has their life figured out, my mindset started to shift. The author and content creator, Eli Rallo, recently did an entire podcast episode on how having everything figured out is overrated.

Although she is only a couple years older than me, I always looked at her as being so much cooler than me and as someone who has achieved all of these amazing things. But after she explained that even though she has no idea what she’s doing all the time, I started feeling this sense of relief. If not even the people we look up to have it all figured out, why do we put this unrealistic pressure on ourselves to do it anyways? It seems like so many people constantly keep striving towards this goal of having it all figured out so they can be “happy.” But what does happiness even mean and when do you get there?

For so long, I expected my life to follow this certain path because I thought it would make me happy, but when I really took a look at myself, I realized that even though I might not have everything accomplished that I want to, I am happy and grateful for a lot of the things in my life. I may not have my dream job or be living in my dream house, but my life isn’t all that bad. I’m still getting the opportunity to write for a big publication, I’m surrounded by amazing family and friends and I’m in a healthy and loving relationship. I struggled with my mental health for so many years and, even though I still do, I finally feel at a place in my life where I’m content. If you are also battling with this constant need to figure everything out, just know that you are not alone. Take time to appreciate the things that you do have in your life, instead of what you don’t have. Sometimes we forget to realize the amazing things that are right in front of us. Also, remember to appreciate everything you have accomplished thus far because all of that deserves to be celebrated, even the small things.

So, yes, I’m ditching my 10-year plan and instead just doing things I love with the people I love and hope that it somehow leads to where I’m supposed to end up. I admire and cherish the person who I am today and I genuinely cannot wait to see how much I’m going to keep growing and learning in the coming years. My life may not be perfect, but it is perfect for me.